


You Ok?

by blackcrows2008



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aftercare, Author cannot write smut, Bokuto Koutarou is a Good Boyfriend, Dom/sub Undertones, Kozume Kenma is a Good Friend, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, Like... very lightly but you have to read to understand, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Praise Kink, Protective Kuroo Tetsurou
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:02:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24893605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackcrows2008/pseuds/blackcrows2008
Summary: Sometimes keeping quiet about what makes you uncomfortable is the worst secret to have. No matter how minor it might seem. Akaashi wishes he hadn't learned that lesson. He wishes he'd just told someone more. More about the stupid science class he can't stand, or more about the science project he hates, or more about his lab partner... but he didn't. It still doesn't make it his fault. Right?
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Original Male Character(s), Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 34
Kudos: 113





	1. Science Class at 8:00 A.M.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is basically fully planned out, even if not fully written yet. So I basically know all the content warnings, I have chosen to tag the work chapter by chapter due to spoilers but if you have any questions don't be afraid to ask, especially if you want to know if something might trigger you.

Akaashi felt loose and relaxed. He never wanted to move with Bokuto’s left leg was around both of his, covering the area from his hip all the way to his calves, strong arms were around his waist pulling him close. The blankets surrounding him smelled like his boyfriend, but also held a little of his own scent mixed in from the many nights that they spent together like this. He was wrapped in love and warmth. Taking one of the arms on him, he proceeded to bury himself deeper in his lover’s embrace while making a his first mental note of the day: _Ask Bo if his arm ever goes numb with his body weight all on top of it._

Of course, that’s when his phone decided to go off, shrieking at him to get up. The arms around him flexed and tensed before letting him go so he would turn off the phone and start to get ready for the day, like a responsible human. As he got up and started to look for clean clothes he realized he should have thought twice about spending the night over at his boyfriend’s again without bringing fresh clothes over.

“Bo," he called over his shoulder, "do you know if I have any clean shirts here?” Making his way to the closet Akaashi opened it hoping to see something of his that wasn’t crumpled or in need of a wash. He knew he wouldn’t have time to go to his dorm for clean clothes this morning or he’d be late. He made a second mental note: _Bring more clothes over, 5 shirts apparently isn’t enough._ The body on the bed shifted and a wild head of hair peeked out from the covers. 

“Hm… I think you should still have one… Is there a blue one hanging on the right side next to my yellow one?” Akaashi looked but couldn’t find anything, he was about to ask for the location again because he could see the yellow shirt Bokuto was talking about but not his supposed blue one. “If it’s not there then I don’t think you have any clean ones left, babe.” Bokuto emerged from the bed to take a look himself, then shook his head when he didn’t see anything hanging where he thought the shirt should be. Akaashi groaned. 

“I don’t have time to go home, can I take one of yours?” He didn’t even wait for a response already sorting through his boyfriend’s items seeing what he liked best. Meanwhile, Bokuto walked out of the room towards the restroom shouting a ‘you don’t even have to ask’ over his shoulder. He gave it a moment’s pause grabbing a dull red shirt before also digging around in the older boy’s drawers for underwear. Pants, at least, he knew he had a clean set here because Bokuto had done a laundry round of jeans yesterday and the ones he had here were in the mix. And while they were a bit crumpled, not folded yet, but they smelt fresh. 

Most people were ok with wearing things that were one-day old, but Akaashi didn’t feel clean when he wore clothes twice in a row, so sue him. It didn’t matter, he thought as he grabbed a towel, he would go to class and stop by his dorm after, change, and then grab extra clean clothes to bring over. Third mental note: _Take all my dirty clothes home_. He heard Bokuto leaving the restroom and made his way into shower. 

When he came out, refreshed and semi-ready for the 8:00 a.m. science class he couldn't stand, he could smell coffee and eggs. He went to the kitchen to find his boyfriend with his head against the table, he saw a cup of something steaming on the table and a plate of scrambled eggs. He also noticed his go-bag by the door looking full. Bokuto looked up at him then, “Hey babe, I made you breakfast, if you still have time, also, I put all your clothes you had here in the bag cuz I figured you’d wanna take them home. They’re by the door.” He got up and yawned. “Gots to shower now, I got practice at 9,” he started to walk away but turned around quickly and leaned over, giving him a kiss, “ in case you're gone when I get out: love you and have a good day.” And with that he went into his room to find clothes so he could shower also. 

As he was finishing washing the dishes, and getting ready to leave, Bokuto came into the kitchen and hugged him from behind. “You’re gonna be late to class, I can get the dishes.”  
  


“Ok, ok, I’m going,” he turned to give the taller boy a soft kiss on the lips, “don’t forget to drink your shake.” He gave him another kiss and, once he got a nod from his boyfriend, left with his bag and a ‘Love you!’ shouted to him from behind. 

* * *

  
  


Class was boring. Like always. Akaashi loved his literature classes, his history classes were actually quite interesting, and he could at least stand maths, but science was a pain. Kuroo was the only one in their friend group that never complained about science, that nerd. He was thinking this, trying to grab his stuff and bail the quickly emptying classroom, but a voice caught his attention. 

“Akaashi,” he looked up to see his lab partner’s brown eyes fixed on him, mentally scolding himself for letting Kuroo distract him even though the idiot wasn’t to blame. 

“Yes?” 

His lab partner, Anzai, leaned closer, “I just wanted to know when you have time to work on our project.” That’s right. That damn project. There was more than one reason Akaashi didn’t like this class. For starters it was not only boring but it also forced him to work with someone he wasn’t particularly fond of for an entire semester on something he held no interest towards. 

“I’m not sure, is there a time you were considering?” _Why couldn’t he have gotten someone else… Someone less…_

“Nope! I'm good whenever you are!” _... Annoying_. Anzai was, of course, unaware of his train of thought, and just continued on. “How about tonight, can we work on it tonight?”

“Oh, well, I actually have something to do tonight, Anzai-san,” _he didn’t,_ “but, how about Thursday?” That was two days from now, and he had no classes after that until Monday, so he’d have an entire weekend to de-stress, silently thanking God for once-a-week classes, even if they did last 3 hours. 

“That works! Looking forward to it, Kaashi!” That made Akaashi cringe, no matter how many times he’d told Anzai to not call him that, the boy still did it. It made Akaashi irrationally mad that he kept trying to call him something only Akaashí’s closest friends called him. 

“I would rather you not call me that, Anzai-san.” He could visibly see Anzai deflate and run a hand through his dark-almost-black hair in embarrassment, but it moved nothing within Akaashi. He felt his phone vibrate but he ignored it for a second. “So, Thursday at the cafe, is 6 alright?” The other’s mood did a 180, and it irked Akaashi even more, but he didn’t show it. 

“Yes! I’ll see you Thursday then!” Anzai was nice. A part of Akaashi felt bad for treating him like he did sometimes, if that wasn't the very issue. Anzai was too nice. They’d sat next to each other, making them semester-long lab partners, solely due to their last names, and that would have been fine. However, Akaashi soon noticed that Anzai was interested in him, for more reasons than to get a good grade, given his insistence to meet outside of class and to work on the cursed project they had to do that was 30% of their grade. 

At first Akaashi had just thought he was just a really dedicated student who wanted to make sure their project was perfect, but that was noticeably not the case when he kept showing up to cafe meetings and got no work done on the project in exchange for his time. After the 3rd time of him showing up and Anzai not being prepared in one way or another Akaashi asked Anzai to please not continue to waste his time and take the project seriously. He also made it clear that he had a boyfriend, a picture of him and Bokuto smiling brightly on the front cover of his binder sent the message well enough. 

In all honesty, Akaashi could have been nicer, but he’d been frustrated. The first time it’d happened, Anzai’s laptop had magically died 20 minutes into their meeting, Akaashi hadn’t wanted to seem rude so instead of leaving immediately, and going to spend his evening with Bokuto, he stayed the remaining hour and a half with Anzai at that cafe. The second time, he’d ‘accidentally’ grabbed the wrong binder, and even though Akaashi had a feeling it was intentional, again, he’d not wanted to seem rude, so he stayed for the rest of the time barely talking to his classmate as the other chatted away. The third had made him mad, because Bokuto had wanted to go out for dinner but Anzai had been persistent and so Akaashi had to put a hold on his date to be here. After that he’d started to make excuses on why he couldn’t meet up with Anzai anymore. 

They’d met up a couple times after that, much to Akaashi’s displeasure, but they really needed to start actually working on the project for real, considering how late in the semester it was. He knew he’d been procrastinating but he’d have to tough it up now because if not his grade would suffer and he couldn’t have that. He was so lost in his mind as he made his way to his vehicle that he had to stop short when he saw a figure leaning on it. The confused lasted only a few seconds when he saw it was Kuroo leaning against it, his attention completely on his phone.

He still wondered, “what are you doing here, Kuroo-san?”

“Check your phone,” Kuroo said without even looking up from his own. 

**My 11 class got canceled. Coffee? I’ll buy.**

“Oh, sorry, didn’t see it.” Akaashi said as he unlocked the doors to the truck so that they could get in. Kuroo shrugged, still getting in and throwing his bag in the back seat. 

“Figures, anyway, can’t go home cuz Kenma be live streaming,” and from Akaashi could hear coming from the phone Kuroo was watching the live stream. “So I figured I could go get coffee with my hottest friend.” 

Akaashi started pulling out of the parking lot but still sent a look to his friend, smirking, “oh Kuroo-san what would poor Bokuto-san say about that? Being cast aside so easily by one of his closest friends.” Kuroo gave a chuckle at that, turning to grin back at him.

“Nah, you know he’d agree. Besides, he’s the cutest, so it evens out.” Akaashi mentally agreed that was very much true but said nothing. 

He saw the light ahead turn yellow and slowed down. “And what does that make you?” He asked, pulling up to now-red light. 

“The smartest, of course,” Akaashi made a sound of disagreement but the other continued, “ and, Kenma’s the scariest, we’ve talked about this. Look! Kenma mentioned me!” He shoved the phone in Akaashi’s face which he quickly swatted away so he could see the road. After that Kuroo seemed to settle until they were at the cafe, both sitting down with drinks and snacks in hand. 

Kuroo took a sip of his drink while he put away his phone. “So, do you and Bo wanna go out Friday? I saw the trailer for a good horror movie. Also, I know Bo doesn’t have a game because Shrimpy-chan told Kenma they don’t.” It was common knowledge among anyone that knew him that when Kuroo said a horror movie looked “good” it meant it looked like it would give you nightmares for 3 months straight. It was also common knowledge that both Kenma and Bokuto didn’t exactly enjoy those kinds of films. What wasn’t common knowledge was that Akaashi loved scary movies just as much as Kuroo did. 

“Sounds good. Dinner before or after?” He took a sip of his drink and waited while Kuroo considered for a moment. He watched him poke at the apple turnover he’d gotten for Kenma. 

“After, that way Bo and Kenma have time to calm down before going home.” 

Akaashi nodded his agreement and took a bite of his cinnamon roll, taking another sip from his drink. They shared the time together laughing about things their significant others had done, talking about school, and any other thing that came to mind. It was fun until Akaashi noticed it was a bit past noon. “I need to go to my dorm, wanna come, then I can drop you off at home?” 

“Sure, let me just,” Kuroo didn’t finish the thought before taking the plates and the trash with him but Akaashi saw him head for the restroom. He waited until he saw the other come back out and they headed for his dorm, not far from the cafe. 

Once they were inside Kuroo jumped on his bed and made himself at home. Akaashi let him, more focused on emptying his go-bag and gathering new clothes. Mental note four: _Run a few laundry loads this weekend._ He knew Bokuto wouldn’t mind just staying at his dorm a day or two over the weekend, even though he also knew he could always just do his laundry at Bokuto's apartment. Still, he felt like it was better at the university since it was already included with tuition and not raking up his boyfriend’s water bill. 

“You know, I still can’t believe you have the dorm all to yourself and you never spend any time here. Kenma and I would have killed for this a couple years back.” Kuroo was right, Akaashi was very fortunate, when enrolling he’d decided to get one of the more expensive dorms, since he could actually afford it with his scholarships, which meant he only had one other roommate and the room included a small kitchenette and a private restroom. Even though the space was still kind of small it was a good deal. And even better, his roommate had dropped about 3 weeks, maybe less, into the semester and the university had enough room to just never add anyone else in. So he got the whole room to himself. 

In the end, it didn't matter since he rarely used it. The only times were when he was studying for really hard test where he knew he couldn’t let Bokuto get near him and distract him. Once Bokuto had signed onto the volleyball team he was with now and gotten his own apartment he spent most of his time there, or at Kenma’s for that matter. Kuroo didn’t even bother getting a dorm this year since he basically lived with Kenma last year. Akaashi hadn’t mentioned anything to Bokuto but he kinda wondered if the case would be the same for them next year, he just didn’t want to be the one to bring it up. Besides it wasn’t as if his scholarship wouldn’t cover him for dorms next year, it was just the idea of living with his boyfriend that he was rather fond of. 

Akaashi started to fold the clean clothes he’d gathered and putting them in his bag, crossing off mental note number two and three from his list. He got everything in and took a look around, he doubted he’d be back before Thursday so he went to his desk and searched through his binders to grab the one that contained the information he needed to work on his project with Anzai. He hadn’t even noticed he’d sighed out loud until Kuroo sat up on his bed. “You ok?” 

Nodding he opened the binder to see if everything was in it. “Yeah, just the stupid science project I hate.” He’d mentioned it before once or twice but never with the material in hand, Kuroo got up and walked over taking the binder, obviously curious. He began sifting through the pages and skim reading the notes. 

“Oh, yeah I remember doing something like this, I think, who’s your…” He drifted off sifting through more pages until he found what he was looking for. “Oh, no nevermind I didn’t have him but I think one of my roommates from my first year did,” He turned another page. “I do remember my teach doing something similar though. I think some teachers share curriculum ideas so that’s not surprising. Do you need help with it? This is very biochem oriented, at least from what I can see, and while it's not my area, per say, anything I can’t answer I can find someone that can.” Kuroo looked up as he finished speaking. 

“No, that's alright, it's not a 'me' project, I have to work on it with my lab partner and he’s the one who wanted to go with this theme. But thank you Kuroo-san.” Nodding, the taller man handed the binder back to him and he threw it in his bag. There was a moment's hesitation before he spoke again. “I hate _it_. So much.” Akaashi couldn’t help himself. He’d never really told any of his friends anything about why he hated his science class so much. They knew he hated science. He’d mentioned the project just barely enough for them to recognize the topic of conversation. But he’d never really mentioned Anzai. 

It just seemed like an awkward conversation to have. It also seemed like Akaashi would be making fun of him in some way, or at least humiliating him somehow. He’s sure if it had been the other way around he wouldn’t want Anzai telling his friends about the poor kid from his science class that he’d had to reject. He could feel Kuroo’s eyes on him and he instantly knew he’d let on more than he’d intended with his tone. 

“Hm.” 

For some reason that thought made Akaashi nervous, he kept his eyes on his almost-done bag. “What?” 

“Nothing, just…” He trailed off.   
  


After a moment Akaashi asked again, a bit more defensive. “What?” He could feel Kuroo hadn’t looked away, so he looked over, but once they made eye contact he couldn’t help but feel vulnerable.

“It seemed like you hadn't quite meant to say ‘it’, or at least that’s what it sounded like.” Kuroo was still looking at him and Akaashi felt himself tense. It was unreasonable. He felt like he was lying or hiding something. But he wasn’t? At least not something that seemed important. But... maybe, just maybe, it was?

Maybe it was because deep down he felt like he wanted to tell someone about how uncomfortable he felt around Anzai sometimes. About how sometimes he leaned in too close. About how sometimes he called him ‘Kaashi’ and how much he hated that. He could tell Kuroo. 

But it wasn't important. He didn't want to make something out of nothing.

So he looked away. His throat felt dry when he answered. “I don't know what you mean,” and yet, he had blinked first. It felt like he had lied. He just didn’t want to make things awkward. Besides, Anzai wasn’t really that important, he was just a once-a-week problem he could easily avoid. 

Kuroo took one more moment to look at him and then turned away smiling as if nothing had happened. “Alright!” And just like that the air wasn’t tense anymore. “Ready to go?” Akaashi looked at his phone to give his hands something to do and noticed It was almost 1 o’clock and he had a 1:30 history class, so he had just enough time to drop Kuroo off at his and Kenma’s apartment and then get to his lesson on time. He gave his dorm a last once-over to make sure everything was tidy and that he wasn’t forgetting anything. Satisfied he grabbed his bag, and pushed Kuroo out the door and locking it behind him. 


	2. The Time Read 7:22 P.M.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags have been updated.  
> I hope you guys enjoy this and that it was worth the wait.  
> Happy hour with the author in the notes at the end. Come chat?

Akaashi felt a bit stiff. The moment he uncurled from his position on the couch he felt something in his back pop, upon stretching he felt the rest of his spine follow suit all the way to his neck. Aside from that, he felt very well-rested. He looked down to see he was wrapped in the gray blanket that they kept on the edge of the couch since Akaashi was perpetually cold, and this confused him a bit since he didn’t remember falling asleep, but clearly he had. Off to the side, he could see Bokuto’s black volleyball bag resting on the floor beside the center table in front of him. 

That explained the blanket. 

He let his hand fall to the floor and felt around until his fingers made contact with his phone. He turned on the lock screen, momentarily blinded by the light, the time read 7:22 p.m. Bokuto would have gotten home more than an hour ago. He heard noises from the bedroom but still didn’t get up slowly piecing together his afternoon. 

He had gotten home from his history class, put away his clothes in the bedroom closet, he knew at some point he tidied up the kitchen and bathroom. Did he do homework? Yeah, he’d finished his homework for his creative writing class tomorrow and even his Wednesday-class maths homework. Then he’d put it away and had decided to watch something but couldn’t find anything so he’d just put a movie he’d already seen from Netflix and laid down to watch. That’s probably when he had fallen asleep, the tv was off but he would bet anything that Bokuto had been the one to turn it off when he realized Akaashi was asleep. 

He got up and rubbed his eyes. Hearing noise to the side he saw as Bokuto entered the living room, he saw his boyfriend’s face light up at seeing him awake and he felt his own face smile back. “You’re awake! How are you? Did you sleep well? I didn’t wake you, did I? I was just rearranging some things in the closet so you’d have more room. I didn’t think the shoeboxes would fall and be so loud. Oh no, oh god I woke, you didn’t I? I’m so-” He had to stop his boyfriend before he spiraled. 

“Not at all, Bo. I woke up all on my own.” Bokuto’s smile returned to his face at that. He came closer but then stopped. 

“Do you want to wash or can I-?” Bokuto had found out early on that there were a few things that Akaashi didn’t like to do. For example, the whole “wear the same clothes two days in a row” thing which he’d learned even before they started dating. Another thing he didn’t particularly like was kissing on the mouth after just waking up, he felt like his mouth was dirty and it was just not something he was comfortable with. 

Everyone talked about sleepy kisses but Akaashi just couldn’t get into it. While he did enjoy cheek kisses, and forehead kisses, and even neck kisses upon waking, he just couldn’t do mouth kisses so it was a comfort that Bokuto understood and knew not to do it, he always asked first if he was unsure and made sure to make it a closed mouth kiss if the answer was yes. Akaashi had even asked Kenma about it in passing and Kenma had told him it was like that with him and Kuroo at first too. Eventually, as their relationship grew older and steadier, they’d both stopped worrying about things like that. He figured that would probably be the case with him and Bokuto too, but as of right now it still made him uncomfortable.

“Let me wash first.” The taller man still leaned in and kissed the top off his head as he helped him off the couch. As Akaashi went to the bathroom, he could hear the other go about in the kitchen. He quickly brushed his teeth and rinsed making it back in time to see Bokuto working over something on the counter. As he came closer the other turned, a smile still on his face. Leaning in, he kissed him softly on his lips, and then he was gone, working away once more. Akaashi rested on the counter just off to the side.

“I’m almost done with dinner so it should be ready soon. How was your day? I heard you and Kuroo hanged out! Well, I saw. He sent me a picture of you guys at the cafe! Kind of, I’m not even sure that you knew he was taking it. How is he? I mean I know how he is but still, how is he? I don’t think we’ve been to their apartment in like three days? Four? And last time we went Kenma was busy so we didn’t even get to see him! I kind of miss him, don’t you? Well, I still text him and we have the group chat but it’s not the same. Hinata said that he had a stream today. 

“We couldn’t watch it though,” Bo continued “ we tried but the coach said we couldn’t slack off. I don’t know why, I mean I think that’s fair since we don’t even have a game this week, but what can you do? We didn’t really want to make the whole team do extra drills because of us so we just put the phone away. We still had to do extra things anyway though because Oikawa wouldn’t stop flirting with Iwa and made him mess up on his notes or something. And even though he started it, it was technically Iwa’s fault we had to do the 100 serves, because he got up from the side bench and hit a serve at Oikawa’s head but it bounced off him and hit the coach. So anyway how was your day, babe? Did you do anything fun?”

Akaashi had sat down at the table at some point as Bokuto talked, he enjoyed hearing about his boyfriend’s day, perfectly imagining all the trouble the team got into on a daily basis, poor coach. “My day was good, nothing much happened today, classes were fine. We did get our tests back in history, I got a 92 on mine, I missed the four I knew I was lacking in, so that was not surprising. One of Kuroo-san’s classes got canceled and that is why we were able to meet. He also mentioned wanting to go out Friday to the movies as a double date.” 

“Yes! What are we watching?” Bokuto asked excitedly as he started placing their food on plates and then brought them to the table, touching his back as he walked by, small gestures like that a common occurrence among them. 

Akaashi watched him for a moment as he thought back on his and Kuroo’s conversation, realizing he never got a name for the movie. “Hm, I am not sure, Kuroo-san mentioned it being a horror movie.” He saw Bokuto pause and continued, “I can text him to get more details.” 

“No it’s fine, it’ll be a surprise. Can I sit between you and Kenma? Or even just you, just, like not Kuroo cuz you know he likes to try to spook me when we watch horror movies. He can’t do it to Kenma because he knows Kenma won’t let him in bed if he does it to him, but he does it to me.” Bokuto said, pouting a bit while setting down the napkins, silverware, and cups of water he was holding haphazardly. Akaashi got to it just in time before any water was spilled from the cups and he set them carefully in front of them.

“I would love to sit by you, Bo.” He took his chopsticks in one hand, Bokuto’s hand in the other, and kissed him, then dug into his food. They ate while discussing their day, mostly Bokuto’s since he had the funnier stories. They also talked about what Bokuto’s schedule looked like for next week. They seemed to have an away game so Akaashi made some mental adjustments to what his week would look like so he could make it to the game. As they finished and got up to take care of the dishes Akaashi spoke up about his own schedule. 

“Bo,” the other turned to give him his full attention. “I need to do laundry this weekend. Do you mind spending Saturday with me at my dorm?” Akaashi scrubbed the dish in his hand as Bokuto took a wipe and cleaned the table and counter. 

“Sure! Are we sleeping over there too?” Akaashi considered that for a moment.

“If we go early enough there wouldn’t be a need to do so.” Bokuto just nodded, Akaashi suspected that it didn’t matter to his boyfriend much if they slept at. He also knew he had to mention his meeting with Anzai so it was at least in Bokuto’s radar though he doubted it would make much of a difference to his schedule. “Also, on Thursday, I have a study session, so I’ll be home late that night. ” The other just responded with a simple ‘Ok’ and that was that. 

Once everything was in order in the kitchen and dining room they went to their room, preferring to cuddle on the bed and watch something in their room instead of the couch. Evenings were always Akaashi’s favorite part of the day. With most of his classes being done by 2, it left the rest of his afternoon free to do his assignments, which meant that by the time Bokuto got home he was mostly done with his homework. The cleaning was usually done by this time too, due to the fact that Akaashi was a bit of a neat freak and enjoyed cleaning enough that he kept up with all of it routinely so there wasn’t much to do in any area except the daily chores on any given day. 

This meant that, usually, once Bokuto got home and they had dinner, the rest of the evening was just for them. They could do small errands, get everything ready for tomorrow, lay around, and watch movies together. Among other things.

Like cuddles. 

They cuddled so much.

And sometimes, cuddles may or may not lead to other things. 

Not always.

But sometimes. 

Many people talk about how when you’re in love with someone, after a while, the butterflies in your stomach stopped fluttering. They say it stops feeling like electricity every time you touch. It stops stealing your breath away every time you kiss. And the thing was that yes, at some point everything stops being ‘too much’ and settles into ‘just right’. At least for the most part. 

He and Kenma had talked about it, they talked about many things. For a while, when Kuroo and Bokuto had first moved away for university, they’d really only had each other for support because they knew that they were both going through the same thing. Of course, they’d been close friends before but that last year in high school they’d become so much closer. They talked about everything and anything, including their significant others.

Nowadays, when they talked about their significant others it wasn’t so much about how they missed them but rather about how they both loved them with their whole hearts. About how they’d reached a point in their relationships where it was not like riding a rollercoaster anymore, even if there were still some days when it felt like that; about how instead, now it was more like being able to enjoy a nice day at the park. Contentment that came from safety and communication. About how it was perfect.

But this applied only to their everyday life. 

This did not apply at all when it was just Akaashi and Bokuto. 

This did not apply when it came to their intimacy. 

The thing was that sex was not something Akaashi could do lightly. 

Ever. 

Or so they’d found out.

It had taken him and Bokuto some getting used to since they didn’t quite know what was going on in the beginning. They’d both been so confused as to why it had felt so intense for him. Sure it had been his first time but it had been almost unbearable. That first time he’d cried, he’d begged, he’d clung to Bokuto as hard as he could because it was just too much. Then when it was over he’d felt a bit depressed, a bit scared, a bit like he wasn’t good. Bokuto had tried to help, and there had been even more tears. There had been talks of inadequacy. There had been talks of ‘forever’. 

The second and third time it wasn’t much different. During, it was good, so good, too good. Too much. After, there had been tears, maybe a bit of screaming, maybe a bit of avoidance. Bokuto was scared. Akaashi was scared. He wasn’t quite sure what he was scared of, but he knew it wasn’t of Bokuto. It didn’t make any sense. He wasn’t physically hurt. Bokuto would never. There was trust. There was love. They weren’t even remotely rough, if anything Bokuto was super gentle. That didn’t mean there wasn’t a sinking feeling in his heart, a pit in his stomach after every time. 

That didn’t mean he wasn’t in pain. 

He didn’t know why, or where the feeling was coming from, Akaashi just knew that all he wanted was to spend the rest of his life wrapped in a blanket away from everything and everyone. That was the most confusing part, it wasn’t like Akaashi didn’t like it or didn’t want it. He did. It felt good. However, it was as if that seemed to be the very problem. It felt too good and it was over too fast and then he was left there hanging and feeling alone even though Bokuto laid right beside him whispering about ‘forever’.

There was no fourth time. 

They stopped because while it was really hard on him it was also hard on Bokuto. They stopped because even with his own inexperience Bokuto knew something was very wrong, that it wasn't supposed to be like that. They stopped because Bokuto had said he didn’t like to see Akaashi like that. Bokuto had said that they could try again at a different time. Bokuto had said that he needed time to not feel like it was his fault every time Akaashi would cry when they were finished. Bokuto had said that he couldn’t keep doing it when every time that they did it Akaashi would lay there afterward curled away from him, not wanting to be touched. He said he felt guilty. He said he just couldn’t. He said he didn’t want to hurt him.

He said he loved him. 

He said ‘forever’. 

And there was crying and avoidance, but also understanding.

And then, the cavalry arrived. 

In the form of Kenma and Kuroo. In the form of many hours researching online while Kenma sat with them looking things up. In the form of many hours reading while Kuroo explained what he knew about chemicals in the brain and what he knew of psychology. In the form of their friends doing all the research for them and pushing them to do their own. Research they should have been doing from the beginning but didn’t because they didn’t know where to start.

Because the thing was, it would have been fine if neither one of them wanted it. They would have lived their life happily if just one of them didn’t want it. But they did, both of them. They wanted to be with one another. They wanted to feel each other. They wanted to keep trying. And they’d told their friends that. And their friends stepped up. And sure it was awkward, maybe a little uncomfortable, but Kuroo and Kenma were there for them, were helpful, supportive, and Akaashi and Bokuto couldn’t have found any better friends even if they tried. 

So they talked about it.

Mostly Kenma and Kuroo. They spent a lot of time talking and explaining to Akaashi and Bokuto the concept of “BDSM”, about “sub” and “dom”, about how even though those didn’t seem to apply to him and Bokuto in what people considered a “traditional” sense it still applied to them because there wasn’t necessarily a “traditional” way to those things. Kenma said words like “empath” and “sexual empath” and how that might or might not apply to Akaashi. Kuroo used words like “post-coital tristesse” and “sub-drop” and how that definitely applied to Akaashi.

  
They learned many things.

Bokuto and Akaashi learned that even if they weren't necessarily rough in what they were doing, they were definitely being very intense. They learned about kinks, more specifically about “kinks” and how Akaashi may or may not have a “praise kink”, he definitely did. They learned about how Bokuto may or may not have been really accommodating to Akaashi’s praise kink, he definitely was. More so than either of them were aware of. They learned that everything that goes up, must come down. They learned that every time, after they were finished, as he came down Akaashi would always crash because they didn’t know he was even up.

They learned many things.

Bokuto and Akaashi learned what the up was. What “subspace” was. How sometimes it was very hard to enter it. Or in Akaashi’s case, very easy. So easy for him in fact that the right words, in the right situation, and with the right tone could do the trick. They learned about the tells of going into subspace, about what it meant to go “non-verbal” and about being able to read cues when in that state. They learned about “safewords” and “green-yellow-red” and “non-verbal safewords” and how those would help if either one of them ever didn’t feel ok or needed something in specific.

  
They learned many things. 

Especially what “aftercare” was. They learned Akaashi might have not been getting as much of it as he should have. Not in the way he should have. They learned why, after they were done, Akaashi would feel alone and his brain would keep screaming “I need” and he could only keep whispering “please” without even knowing what he wanted. They learned that when he kept whispering “I can’t” he was asking for Bokuto to not leave him alone, contrary to what they’d originally believed. 

They learned many things.

Akaashi learned that he could ask for comfort and that it was ok to feel however he was feeling and that Bokuto would listen and do his best to give him what he needed. Akaashi learned that if he couldn’t speak he could give Bokuto one of the signals they came up with and he would listen and do his best to give him what he needed. Akaashi learned he didn’t have to pretend to come back immediately, that he was allowed to indulge and just let himself be vulnerable. Akaashi learned that he trusted Bokuto with his soul.

They learned what their new ‘forever’ would look like.

And then there was a fourth time. 

And it had been so much, almost too much, but this time Akaashi understood what his body was trying to tell him. He understood what he wanted. What he needed. And when it was over he cried, but this time Bokuto brought him down gently as he dried his tears. Bokuto didn’t let him crash, didn’t let him go until, mentally speaking, his feet were back on the ground and his “please, Bokuto-san, please, I can’t” stopped because he finally  _ could _ . Bokuto held him until all he felt was love and warmth and it wasn’t the fear or loneliness he’d come to expect.

And then there was a fifth time, and a sixth, and a seventh, and all the ones after. And even if those first three times were terrible and painful and awful, Akaashi would never trade them simply because he learned so much and he gained so much. 

Like this moment right now. 

Laying in bed, no clothes, body all hot and sweaty. Panting, gasping, begging. Both him and Bokuto had finished. But his body was still a live wire, sensitive and overstimulated. His brain was both buzzing and numb. He could only feel pleasure. Everything was too much and yet he wanted. He wanted. He wanted. He needed. 

“Bo-bo-bokuto-san, bo-kuto-s-san, please, please, ple-please, I-I,” Akaashi took in air, something that sounded like a breath, “I can’t-I can’t, please, please,” That’s all he could say, and it was wet and messy through leftover tears, but he knew Bokuto would understand. He knew he was safe, he just needed someone to guide him out of his headspace.

Then there were hands, taking his face and drying his cheeks. Lips by his ear whispering, “you did so good baby, just like always. Such a good job, so perfect, so beautiful like this Keiji. I love you so much.” Kissing at his jaw, not biting, not sucking, just lips applying pressure. Soothing. Calming. “Everything I could ever want. Can you look at me now baby?” A nose rubbing on his cheekbone right below his eyes, but Akaashi couldn’t open them. “It’s ok, you don’t have to open your eyes yet. You’re doing so good, my precious beautiful Keiji.” 

There were hands, kneading thigh muscles for a few minutes, rubbing circles at his biceps for a few more. Hands traveling to his collarbone, down his chest, and back up again. Not exploring, not erotic. Just making their presence known. Letting Akaashi feel them. Feel someone there with him. “You’re doing so good baby, are you back yet?”

“Mm,” He felt his eyes furrow and lips kiss the frown away. 

“Shh, it’s ok. It’s ok if you’re not, you’re ok, sweetheart, you’re ok. You’re safe. I love you so much. Take your time.” Akaashi felt a sense of relief at that, like a foggy mirror that started to slowly clear up after the steam of the shower engulfed it. He closed and opened his hands in a motion not unlike squeezing a stress ball, he made some kind of noise and Bokuto took note of his hands, it was one of their signs. Squeezing both hands in two-beat intervals is what they'd agreed would mean Akaashi wanted a hug. “Of course babe, I’ve got you. Just give me a moment, love, I have to clean you first.” 

The weight on the bed shifted and he felt something wet and cold at his thigh, his stomach, he whined. Trying to flinch away. He just wanted a hug, not this. He did the sign again. “It’s ok, you’re ok, I’ve got you. I’m just cleaning you up baby. Wiping you down real fast.” The coldness came back and Akaashi let out a louder whine. “I know it’s cold, love, I’m sorry, do you want a warm shower instead?” At that Akaashi curled away from Bokuto, not wanting to move, much less get up to take a shower.

“Hey, hey, hey, shh, no-no, no shower. No shower. Come here baby, just a little more, and then I can hug you.” The wet cloth finished gently cleaning him. He felt clothing move up his legs, it wasn’t long before he had boxer briefs and sweatpants on. And soon enough, an arm wormed itself under him, between the center of his still-shirtless back and the mattress. His body was being lifted up and pushed forward until a body was between him and the headboard. Strong arms wrapped around him to rest at his stomach, Akaashi just let his hands fall to them and move back and forth on the forearms that surrounded him. Letting his head fall back, he burrowed himself into the neck of his boyfriend, smelling him as best he could and taking comfort in the familiarity. His hands fell down even further to grip Bokuto's pajama pants that he didn’t know when the other put on.

He heard Bokuto whisper something in his ear but he just turned his head away, he didn’t want to think yet. Just a little more. Just a little bit more. Then he felt something tapping on his lips and on instinct opened his mouth to surround it, finding it to be a straw. He sucked and felt the water refresh his mouth, he hadn’t realized he was this thirsty, but then again he never did when he got like this. Akaashi just kept on drinking as best he could, the warm arms around him moving to soothe his own going up and down, up and down. 

The straw was pulled away and Akaashi felt the hands stroke his hair, moving it away from his forehead. Finally opening his eyes he felt like he was coming out of a dream. Loose, relaxed, safe, warm. He shifted so that his back arched away from Bokuto behind him and sighed when he felt his spine pop. “There you are, hi babe.” Akaashi just hummed in response, turning and shifting and moving his body so that he was perpendicular to Bokuto’s, both his knees over Bokuto’s left one that was flat against the mattress, and his back against Bokuto’s right one that was propped up like a tent. His shoulder rested against the broad shirtless chest of his boyfriend and he melted in the embrace. 

It lasted a good few minutes, Akaashi even felt himself doze off for a second or two, and then he felt the body under him shift and twist and move. “What are you doing?” Akaashi asked, not wanting to investigate himself. 

“Getting something.” Bokuto kept shifting behind him, “I got you something and I wanted it to be a surprise! So I put it under the bed, but...” The shifting became so much that Bokuto started to fall off the bed. At this point, when he realized what was going to happen, Akaashi tried to steady him by grabbing his arm and pants but it was already too late so he gave up and let him fall off before he dragged them both off the bed. “Aaakaaashi!” His boyfriend landed on the carpet with a groan and Akaashi couldn’t help but break out into laughter, still feeling a bit giddy. 

“I’m sorry Bo,” more laughter, “I tried.” 

“Not very well,” but his grin told Akaashi he wasn’t upset at all. He could see Bokuto shifting underneath the bed. “Got them! I don’t know how they got kicked this far back. Let me just-” He cut off as he climbed back in behind Akaashi and they resettled into their previous position as if nothing had happened. Akaashi heard a tearing sound and tried to turn but Bokuto didn’t let him, instead just crinkling what was clearly a bag behind him. 

“What is it, let me see.” Akaashi’s curiosity was getting the best of him.

“Nope, close your eyes, babe.” For some reason this command made Akaashi instinctively start to play with his fingers, fidgeting as he closed his eyes, one nail scraping against the inside skin of a finger. Immediately, smaller hands took his, “hey, Akaashi, hey it’s ok, love, you can open them if you feel more comfortable. You’re so good, wanna show me your gorgeous eyes?” Akaashi couldn’t help but open them, feeling a flush crawl up his face at his behavior. His brain wasn’t always rational during aftercare, very susceptible to any little thing, especially requests. He’d learned that and tried to accept it, that didn’t mean it didn’t embarrass him. “You’re perfect, I love your eyes. I love you. So good.” Bokuto was always there to catch him though, so it was ok if his brain wasn’t rational.

He moved forward to kiss Bokuto’s lips gently, “I love you too.” The responding smile was dazzling. 

“Can you open your mouth for me? I got you something.” Akaashi’s lips automatically fell open at that. One of Bokuto’s fingers came to slowly stroke his bottom lip before he popped something small and round into his mouth. It took a split second for his brain to recognize what it was. Chocolate. Part of their aftercare routine that they’d found to particularly enjoy was to find a snack or two to enjoy together, usually sweet because that’s what Akaashi gravitated towards. 

Akaashi bit on the chocolate, experimenting with the texture and the feel of it. It was good, there was a center to it with a flavor he couldn’t quite identify and that was a bit chewy. He opened his mouth for another one once that one was gone and Bokuto obliged to the request. This one he savored longer letting it melt in his mouth, the chewy part rasping at his tongue. He still liked it so when that was gone he opened his mouth for another, just melting into Bokuto’s chest. They spent a while just enjoying each other’s presence and Akaashi chewing on chocolate after chocolate until he’d had his fill, his boyfriend popping one or two in his mouth every once in a while too. Eventually, Bokuto broke the silence.

“Does anything hurt? Do you need more water? Was that too much?” This was said with such worry that Akaashi leaned up to kiss him intensely on the lips. Arms coming around to circle his neck and to hug Bokuto’s body close to his, Akaashi’s strength back and his body more coordinated. When they pulled apart he couldn’t help but nuzzle into his boyfriend just a bit more.

“You ask me as if there was something to worry about. Bo, the worst you did to me was bite my shoulder.” And even that probably wouldn’t leave a bruise, although he could see small indent marks at the moment. Bokuto was never, ever rough. Whether that was Bokuto’s preference or just an outcome of what they’d been through, Akaashi couldn’t tell you, honestly, it was probably a mix of the two because even during that first time Bokuto had been anything but rough. Instead, his boyfriend was extremely gentle, taking his time to slowly tear him apart, every single time, and that’s exactly what left Akaashi’s brain and body feeling like pudding, and he wouldn’t ask for it any other way.

Bokuto’s hands came up to his cheeks, and he made Akaashi look him straight in the eyes when he repeated himself, “does anything hurt?” Akaashi shook his head. “Was it too much?” Another shake. “Do you want more water?” After a second to think, Akaashi decided he  _ was  _ kind of thirsty and nodded. The other leaned over to the bedside table and grabbed the bottle there, still with the straw. 

He removed it and drank until he felt his throat was sated. When he was done, Bokuto took the bottle and threw it away as he got up to turn off the light in their room. They got comfy on the bed, Akaashi resting against Bokuto’s chest. The covers covering them, the warmth starting to radiate under the sheets. And then Bokuto spoke up again, “how are you feeling? You ok?” He asked as he always did before they slept, just to make sure. 

“I am feeling alright, Bo. Just, could you, could you just please keep holding me? Just a bit longer?” The arms that had been loosely holding him squeezed tight for a good few seconds. And only one word answered him in the darkness. 

“Forever.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Hour With The Author
> 
> This took so long because my computer broke. Like I am a slow writer, to begin with, and then my computer broke and it felt weird to write this on a borrowed computer. I still don't have a computer but I managed. Probably expect a slow update for the next chapter too... Sorry.
> 
> A special thanks to Big fan, Catsandspite, TheSunHasToSet, Yumin, and Randomgirl14 for commenting. Seriously, guys, I thought no one liked this story at first.
> 
> I wanted to explore Bokuto's and Akaashi's relationship more... I can't write smut... but I love aftercare... and I really love the use of repetition to show the emotions and thoughts a character is going through. So this chapter happened. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Also, if anyone needs the clarification, once Bo and Akaashi finish dinner they go to their room and cuddle then they have sex and then the aftercare, like this isn't two different times or dates, I just wanted to make that super clear because of the huge chunk of story in between... Again... Sorry. 
> 
> Finally, my personal headcanon is that: Akaashi calls Bokuto "Bokuto-san" in front of others or when talking about him to others. He calls him "Bo" when it's just them. He reverts to "Bokuto-san" during sex because it's cute somehow. Finally, he only calls him "Koutarou" in super special moments. Like it's got to be so special and emotional like their wedding or something. Bokuto in turn always calls him some variation of Akaashi, but he calls him "Keiji" during sex. 
> 
> Just, let me know what you think?


	3. Workout at 2:00 P.M.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No tags were added.  
> I hope you guys enjoy this!  
> Happy hour with the author in the notes at the end. Come join me?

Akaashi felt drained, not tired, just physically drained. He turned the key on the lock and made his way into Bokuto’s apartment, taking his shirt off the moment the door was closed. The fabric was sticking to him with drying sweat and to be honest, all he wanted was a drink. He headed straight for the kitchen intent on grabbing a cold bottle of water from the fridge but once he opened the door he just stood there letting the air cool his skin; eventually, he did move to grab water from the shelf and drank more than half in one go. 

During his first year at the university Kuroo had discovered that, as a student, he had full access to the school’s workout center. That meant that the next year when Akaashi enrolled, so did he. And after asking around, they discovered that so did Kenma even though his classes were online. So the three of them decided that every Thursday at 2:00 p.m. they’d get together for a workout date to be able to see each other regularly and to stay healthy, or in Kuroo’s words: “keeping that hot bod time with the bros.”

In reality, it was just Kuroo and Akaashi working out. Kenma came along every week but simply moved along with them from station to station while playing on his device or helped them out by spotting, keeping time, count reps, etc. but Akaashi doubted he would ever actually work out. It didn’t matter so long Kenma was happy, besides it was fun to just spend time with his two friends, especially if it was doing something familiar which didn’t require much brainpower. 

They usually kept a conversation going the whole time, though Akaashi had read somewhere that “if you can talk through a workout you weren’t doing it right”. It’s not like they were training for games anymore so it wasn’t a big deal. In fact, on Thursdays is when he did his more involved routines, any other day his “work out” just consisted of Akaashi going for a run outside or at the gym if it was too cold. Bokuto on the other hand did keep a rigorous workout routine, which Akaashi did not envy nor tried to participate in. 

_Today’s_ “gotta keep that hot bod” date conversation topic was  _ tomorrow’s _ date. They worked out all the finer details, like how Kuroo forgot to buy the tickets and Kenma had to buy them on his phone while Kuroo and Akaashi were leaving their souls on the treadmill. He also made sure to mention that Bokuto wanted to sit between Kenma and Akaashi, to which Kuroo had laughed because he knew the exact reason and Kenma had instantly agreed, half-glaring at Kuroo who was still laughing, with a whispered, “you’re so rude. I hope you trip.”

Kenma had tried to explain to them the plot of the videogame he was working through while they were doing floor exercises. To be honest, Kuroo and Akaashi were still low-key confused but kept their unspoken agreement to not say anything and anger the smaller boy with their lack of videogame culture. Kenma realized they were lost anyway and moved on to talk about the graphics and soundtrack, which they both understood a bit better. 

When they reached the dumbbells, Kuroo spoke up about an offer he got to help coach a volleyball team over the summer at a local junior high school. Akaashi didn’t grasp all the details of the coaching position, but what he did catch was that this opportunity had tipped the balance and had finally helped Kuroo make up his mind about what career route he was going to take. He knew a part of Kuroo had been torn for the past two and a half years on whether he wanted to go into science or sports marketing. He had pushed off deciding as long as he could by taking all his gen-eds and prerequisites, but he’d run out of time and now that he was midway through his 5th semester he  _ really  _ had to make up his mind. 

Akaashi at first had wondered why he hadn't combined both and gone the sports medicine route like the student intern on Bokuto’s team, Iwaizumi. After asking, Kuroo had explained that while he liked science he liked more of the engineering side of it and didn’t want to practice  medicine . Now, Kuroo was going on about how he’d finally decided that volleyball held a bigger part in his heart, so he was going with the sports marketing degree. Out of the corner of his eye, Akaashi saw Kenma glance up from his device and give Kuroo a small smile. Bokuto would be excited once he found out the news, which Kuroo would tell him over dinner tomorrow. 

But that was tomorrow, Akaashi was busy right now.

After getting his thirst under control, Akaashi slowly made his way to the bedroom and started collecting his clothes so he could shower. After a moment to mentally debate whether it was too early to get ready for the study session tonight, he picked a faded olive-green shirt, dark blue jeans, a gray set of boxer briefs, and continued on his way to the bathroom. He pulled out his phone and opened his music app to find his favorite playlist which consisted of mostly instrumental songs. It was relaxing and helped soothe him and destress while showering.

He was lathering his scalp with shampoo when he heard the soft tone of one of the few songs with actual words begin, The Highwayman. It was actually a poem-turned-song in English that he’d had to study for his creative writing class very early in the semester, after translating and analyzing the poem he’d found himself fascinated by the story. It was the tale of two lovers, the Highwayman, who was a robber, and Bess, who was the daughter of an innkeeper, separated by the cruelty of both people and fate. They both met a sad end but death smiles upon them and lets them reunite in the end. There was something about the way it’s told that always tugged at Akaashi’s heart. Bokuto's agreed the one time he'd listened to the song.

The song played and faded out, leaving Akaashi to listen to the calming strings and echoes of the next song. He knew he should be getting out but that was easier said than done when he was warm and comfortable and he didn’t want to get ready for the rest of the day. With a flick of his wrist the water shut off and he dried himself while trying to mentally picture the perfect way to describe the way Bokuto applies gel in the mornings. The reason being the assignment in his creative writing class to “describe in detail how someone would go about doing a mundane thing." Akaashi had set his heart early on that he wanted to describe something Bokuto did that wasn’t volleyball and found himself unexpectedly attaching to the idea of describing how his boyfriend styles the hair he’s so proud of.

Akaashi was too distracted thinking of this to put on his pants correctly and he lost balance, causing him to slide on the damp tile just enough so that the center of his thigh hit the corner of the counter. He quickly regained his balance a bit too late as he felt the throbbing pain, enough to get him to curse under his breath. It wasn’t major but he might end up with a bruise and it kind of hurt, he rubbed at it to try to dissipate the pain and finished dressing without any more incidents. 

He tidied up the bathroom and then made his way into the kitchen to start prepping the food for tonight, they were having dinner late since he had that study session with Anzai today, so he thought it’d be best if he got a head start on prep. He tried to do mental math to see how much he needed to leave ready and what would need to get done when Bokuto got home. He doubted they’d spend more than two hours studying and if it looked like it’d be more than that Akaashi would definitely cut it off because he didn’t want to make Bokuto wait more than necessary since Akaashi knew he was usually ready to eat not long after he got home because of his routines and they were already pushing the 8:30 mark at this point.

He carefully diced and cut up vegetables one by one, his music playing in the background, the gentle rhythm of 2Cellos guiding his movements. He carefully wrapped up what needed to be wrapped up and put what needed to go in containers into the fridge. The chicken was seasoned and cut up into bite-sized pieces making a mental note: text Bokuto to take the chicken out of the fridge when I’m on my way home so it’ll be room temperature and ready to cook when I arrive.

He would wait on the rice too since he liked it better fresh out of the pot, but he did leave everything out that would be needed. Mindful to do a small amount since they would be eating out tomorrow all day. Bokuto had decided since they were going to go on a double date with Kuroo and Kenma they might as well make it an all-day thing and they were going to go to the local mall in the morning and had planned on eating brunch out. Akaashi was excited because that meant he’d get to go see the bookstore and the tiny teapot shop next to the bookstore and the candle shop in front of the teapot shop. They were in the farthest, and quietest, corner of the mall he could get lost for hours in those three places.

Bokuto had mentioned maybe needing new practice shoes so they’d definitely be stopping at one of the many shoe stores. Once it was on his mind Akaashi realized that they probably needed to check Bokuto’s knee pads too to make sure they were still in good shape, that way if he needed new ones they could stop by the sports store by the food court that Akaashi knew had a good stock of the knee pad and leg sleeve combo that Bokuto was partial to. Mental note: Check Bokuto’s gym bag to see the condition of his knee pads. Mental note number three: Also check how the gym bag deodorizer is holding up. Since they were gonna be shopping they might as well take stock of everything so they wouldn’t have to take another trip in a week or two. 

After going around and making sure everything was just how he wanted it for dinner, Akaashi sat down to look at his phone, mindlessly scrolling until his alarm went off at 5:35 p.m. He needed to leave in 10 minutes so he could get to the cafe on time to meet Anzai. He gathered his bookbag, binder, and phone; made sure everything was off in the kitchen, did a check to make sure all the lights were off and sent a quick text to Bokuto. 

**_Heading off to my study session now, remember we’re eating dinner late today. Do not snack the entire time I’m gone and please fold the towels in the dryer when you get home._ **

With that, he drove to the same cafe shop he’d been at 3 days earlier with Kuroo, but as he pulled into the parking lot something seemed off this time. There weren't any other cars, not a single one, and while he didn’t expect the place to be bursting, he knew they got a steady stream of customers due to its perfect location close to the university where both students and staff hurriedly dropped by at all hours. 

Then he saw it. There was a sign at the door and Akaashi felt his stomach drop. He must have subconsciously overheard some conversation when he was here with Kuroo because even though he couldn’t read the words yet he already knew what it was going to say. He got out of his vehicle and slowly walked closer to the door. From what Akaashi could see, everything was dark and lonely inside. He walked until he was finally close enough to read:  _ Closed Temporarily For Renovations. Sorry for the inconvenience!  _

Damn.

A car pulled into the lot before he could go back into his own and Akaashi had seen it just enough times to know who it was without having to look at the driver. He was still processing the information from the sign and made no move to stop Anzai from getting out of his car and walking right up to him. The smile on his face made it obvious that the other was clueless about the situation. “Kaashi! How have you been? Were you waiting for me?” Anzai got closer, enough that he could smell some sort of body spray or deodorant on him, Akaashi wasn’t sure what. 

Akaashi blinked and could only suppress an eye roll as both the words and the proximity of his classmate registered. “Please do not call me that Anzai-san, and yes I was waiting for you, however, it appears the cafe is closed.” He said attempting to take a step back but realized he couldn’t because he was already backed up against the door of the cafe, so instead just crossed his arms in front of himself as some sort of barrier hoping Anzai would catch the hint and give him room.

“What do you mean closed?” As he talked Anzai moved and arm around him, accidentally caging him in more, pulling at the door and trying to open it completely ignoring the sign and the fact that everything was dark inside and the fact that their cars were the only two in the entire parking lot. “What are we gonna do now?” He moved back away from the door and Akaashi took the opportunity to slip through the open space and away from the building, he didn’t like to be cornered and he was starting to get uncomfortable.

Akaashi felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and that gave him an idea, “here let me check something.” Akaashi pulled out his phone and saw a small pop-up circle to the side of his screen, clearly, Bokuto and Hinata were done with practice and were now spamming the group chat. He swiped it down to the “X” that appeared, opened his google search, looked up the university’s library number, and pressed the call button. 

While the library was open 24/7, Anzai and he needed a small office or workspace where they could talk and not disrupt the other people there, there was a communal space on the second floor but Akaashi wasn’t too keen on having to deal with all the people there. There was also an area that had conference rooms students could book to work on projects but they had to be reserved in advance. As the phone rang the library front desk he hoped someone he knew would pick up, most of the staff liked him and he went there often enough that with luck he could probably skip the reservation requirement if they had open rooms.

“Hello, you’ve reached the library, my name is Yuuto, how may I help you?” A familiar voice answered. 

“Yuuto-san!” Akaashi was excited, he knew Yuuto, he was the kind and loud boy from his creative writing class, they didn’t talk much outside of class but they were friendly with each other and had always been on the same argument side during class debates. That had to count for something. “It’s Akaashi.” 

“Akaashi! What’s up, man? I haven’t seen you since Ito-kyouju made us read our wonderful poems this morning and you left everyone in the dust. Like, man, it was amazing,” that last part made Akaashi smile because he knew that Yuuto was being honest in his compliment. ”I think I saw Nakamura-san shed a few tears, probably when she realized there’s no way she’s getting the top score on this assignment.” Akaashi snorted at that, “so how can I help you? I doubt you called just to chat with me about Nakamura’s solid second place.” 

At any other moment, Akaashi would probably have joked around with Yuuto a bit, but he could feel eyes on him. When he looked up, he saw Anzai just staring at him, so he turned away as inconspicuous as he could. “While that does sound like a tempting offer, I’m afraid it will have to be a different time. I was actually needing help with something.” 

“Yeah, what is it?” 

“I have a study session with a classmate,” his eyes flickered to the other, “but the cafe we were going to hold our session at is currently closed. I was hoping there might be an open conference room we could use? I am aware I should have made a reservation, however, I wasn’t planning on the original location not being available.”

“Yeah man, of course. Don't even worry about that reservation stuff. Just let me check if there’s ‘n open room, can I put you on hold?” Yuuto didn’t even wait for a response and Akaashi didn’t try to give one. He hoped it worked out, he risked a peek at his phone screen and saw it was 6:11 p.m. This was cutting into study time and he wasn’t willing to let it go over but it looked like their 8:30 dinner would be a 9 o’clock one. He’d have to send Bokuto a text. 

Soon enough Yuuto was back on the phone, “hey, Akaashi?”

“Yes?”  _ Please let it be good news, please let it be good news _ . 

“So I looked, and there’s no open rooms, man. I can see one is going to open up at like 7:30 and you can definitely take that one, but nothing’s open right now. Sorry.” The regret was clear in his voice and Akaashi felt bad for making Yuuto feel bad. 

“It’s alright, Yuuto-san, I knew it was going to be a long stretch to get a room. I really appreciate you trying though, thank you. Also, can I give you a tip? About class.” After a small noise of affirmation, Akaashi continued, “if you added more imagery to your work it would improve your writing. You have a tendency to tell the reader what is happening rather than showing through senses and actions. I am sure if you just work on that a bit more you will be a worthy opponent at the next read-out-loud, Nakamura-san would not only lose the first rank but second too.” He let humor color his words at the end hoping Yuuto would take this as him trying to help and not bashing his work.

There was a moment of silence and then, “oh man, thanks! I felt something was off but I was too afraid to ask anyone, that helps so much.” The glee in his voice brought another smile to Akaashi’s lips. In some ways, Yuuto reminded him of Hinata. 

“No problem, Yuuto-san. I’ll see you in class Tuesday and if you want I can be your peer editor for the paragraph we have to write?” 

“Yeah, that’d be great! See you then, bye!” With a click, Yuuto was gone and Akaashi was left with Anzai again alone in the parking lot of a closed cafe. 

The moment the phone was away from his ear Anzai asked, “who was that?” For some reason, the words sounded rather harsh coming out of his mouth, definitely a change from a few minutes ago. 

Akaashi’s instincts were going haywire, he wasn’t in danger but he felt pinned down by those three simple words. Something fluttered in his chest and his voice held a hint of caution as he began to explain, “that was a friend trying to help. He was trying to get us-” 

“You two seemed close.” Anzai’s eyes were definitely hard. That threw Akaashi off because no, Yuuto and he were not close, not really; and regardless of whether they were or not close, the statement was so non-sequitur that he decided to just ignore it altogether and continue as if he hadn’t been interrupted.

“-A room at the library, but there wasn’t one available. Which brings us back to square one.” Akaashi looked at the window of the cafe, blaming it for all his current problems. He wanted to go home. It was 6:17 p.m. and he was no closer to finding somewhere for them to work at than he was fifteen minutes ago. He wanted to go home to Bokuto, who would be arriving home around this time. 

Home.

That gave Akaashi another idea. “How do you feel about going to my dorm room? I don’t have a roommate so we wouldn’t be interrupted. It’s not far, and we wouldn’t have to keep searching for another location.” It wasn’t far at all, that meant Akaashi could probably get away with staying with the original end time of 8 o’clock and they’d still get at least an hour and a half of work done. Maybe this whole thing wouldn’t be just another waste of time like he’d thought it was going to end up being. 

“I’m up for that.” The tone with which that was said was completely different than the one that Anzai had used moments earlier. It would have given Akaashi whiplash if he wasn’t so used to people with mood shifts. 

“Alright, do you mind following me?” Once he got a silent nod from the other he made his way to his car. As the door shut, Akaashi let out a deep sigh, they hadn’t even started to work on the project and Akaashi was already stressed. He felt his pocket vibrate and dug around for his phone, he opened it and saw that he had 24 unread messages in the group chat, which he ignored for the moment. He also saw he had 3 unread text messages, after a press and a swipe he was at the right screen and saw that, as he had suspected, all three messages were from Bokuto.

**Dont worry ill do the towels!!**

**Can i have some sancks??**

**Need me to gwt the chicke n out???**

That made him smile, the simple fact that Bokuto knew him and their routine enough to look ahead and realize the chicken even needed to be taken out. It didn’t surprise him, since Bokuto  _ did _ cook half the time to begin with, so much as it made him feel good that he knew the other had his back even in the most mundane things. He decided he could spare a minute to text back. He knew Anzai was waiting on him but his boyfriend definitely came first. 

**_Don’t take the chicken out yet, I’ll let you know when to do so. Thank you for folding the towels. Please do not have more than two snacks or you’ll lose your appetite. I have to go now, love you._ **

  
  


**I love u too! Go b smart!!**

**I might hav 3 snacks dont b mad!!!!**

**Love u!**

Akaashi could only smile in exasperation at Bokuto’s second text, but his smile dropped the moment he looked up and saw Anzai staring intently at him through the window of his car. He couldn’t do anything but stare back for a few seconds, frozen in that moment. He felt exposed and that was what finally made him look away, he looked down to his phone once more and, after a second to consider, he decided to open his music app quickly connecting the device to the aux. He decided he might as well enjoy the ride and put on The Highway Man. He heard the familiar tune play and as the first words spoke of the  _ wind  _ and the  _ moon  _ he drove off towards his dorm without looking back to see if Anzai was following. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I wanted to post this on the 22nd in honor of my birthday, and Goshiki's but I wasn't able to edit it in time.
> 
> I finally bought a computer, it is supposed to arrive on September 1-3, so I might update faster? Actually, I might not because school started. Like I work full time and now I'm taking 3 classes. I was being dumb when I decided this back in June. Someone save me.
> 
> A VERY VERY SPECIAL THANKS TO RANDOMGIRL14! YOUR COMMENT GAVE ME LIFE!!! 
> 
> Speaking of comments, you guys were very quiet, do y'all still like this? Give me pointers? What you guys didn't like, what you did. 
> 
> And speaking of pointers, so... there's a scene I had to delete, two scenes actually, because they didn't fit in the timeline. One made sense but broke the flow of the story. Since everything that I wanted to be established being established I had no reason to include all of Tuesday and Wednesday or Thursday morning, but what I wanted to add happened Tuesday morning. The other one didn't make sense because it was a flashback and while it was important to me it didn't make sense in the story. If anyone is even remotely curious let me know and I'll drop those.


	4. Study Session at 6:27 P.M.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to make it explicit, READ THE WARNINGS. This chapter contains non-consensual sexual acts.

Akaashi felt annoyed, but that was to be expected considering the company. Yet, it wasn’t only the company, it was the fact that it was 6:27 p.m. and they were only just settling down, they hadn’t even properly taken their materials out of their bags. In fact, Anzai was laying on his bed while Akaashi decided where they could set up all their materials, his desk seemed the obvious choice, it had enough table space and was cleared off. However, it was against the wall and Akaashi wasn’t so sure how he felt about having to sit right next to Anzai instead of having a barrier to separate them. 

So instead he turned to the dinner table set up on the side, a hand-me-down from Kenma’s parents to Kuroo, and then to Akaashi, it was smaller but with still plenty of room. He set his things down at one end and waited for Anzai to move from the bed to the table, but that wasn’t happening. Instead, he was making himself at home, quite like Kuroo had done last time he was here; but, unlike Kuroo, Anzai was basically a stranger. Having him look so relaxed on his bed was making him uncomfortable. Especially when he was touching the stuffed animal Bokuto had given him on their first date, a small blue penguin because he couldn’t find an owl.

Akaashi cleared his throat to get the other’s attention. Dark eyes looked up at him so he made a hand gesture to the table to indicate he was ready to go. At that, Anzai got up and took his backpack, walking to the table but instead of the very obvious spot open for him across the table, he set down his things right next to Akaashi’s, almost on top of his things actually, and went around to the other side to grab one of the chairs and bring it around. Akaashi bit his lips, irritation surging up, but he kept quiet after all Anzai was a guest.

“What would you like to start with?” Akaashi wanted this to get done as soon as possible. He wanted to go home. Opening his binder, he looked at Anzai who was after all unofficially in charge of the project since the topic had been his idea. The other was looking at his notebook going through his notes, which was a good sign. Apparently, he did care more about his grades than Akaashi had originally suspected, it seemed like he’d gotten quite a bit of work done on his own. Akaashi felt a pang of guilt at that, maybe Anzai wasn’t as bad as he thought. 

“How about this, here I took some notes on this,” Anzai moved the notebook over to Akaashi so he could look at the notes he’d written and launched into an explanation, as he did Akaashi took out a post-it pack and jotted questions or comments about where to expand or what might cause confusion and stuck them to the appropriate areas on the pages in front of him. They continued like this for at least half an hour. Exchanging information or comparing notes or pointing out good websites to use as resources. 

Akaashi was currently fact-checking an item he wasn’t sure about in Anzai notes when the other broke through the silence, “hey, I was wondering, Akaashi?” Akaashi turned, at the sound of his name, his typing on his laptop slowing to a stop, a questioning look on his face. “There something to drink? I’m kind of thirsty.” Akaashi’s mind buzzed and then went silent. He’d never even offered the other anything to drink, his mother would have his head on a platter. 

“Yes, of course, Anzai-san. I apologize for my lack of manners, what would you like?” He stood to go to the small cabinets in his four-foot-long “kitchenette”, it wasn’t very big but Akaashi felt lucky to even have something like this in his room. When he reached the fridge he looked to see what he had to offer. “I have som-“ but before he could continue he was cut off. 

“Do you have tea? Or coffee?” Akaashi blinked, he hadn’t really been planning on offering anything that needed to be prepared. In fact, he had been planning on grabbing a water bottle and a Gatorade bottle from the mini-fridge and having Anzai choose between the two. He wasn’t even going to offer the bottle of apple juice that was in there because that was Kenma’s. Akaashi held back a sigh, he did have tea bags and a portable single burner that Bokuto had snuck in contraband. Fine. 

“Of course Anzai-san.” He pulled out the teapot and poured water into it, then went to the cabinet to pull out the box of tea bags. 

“Thanks, man, I’m just craving something hot and warm you know? You should make some for yourself as well.” At that Akaashi realized how good tea did sound right now. He pulled out a second pack from the container. He set the water to boil and sat back down to continue his work, as he sat down he reached for his phone so he could set a timer for the water. When he opened it he saw that he had a few notifications, a small red 37 beside the group chat bubble and a 4 by his text icon. “You don’t have a password?” 

Akaashi jumped, not expecting to be spoken to, and then the question registered. “I don’t.” He looked down to open the clock app to set the timer, ignoring his notifications for now, briefly wondering if the texts were from Bokuto or someone else. 

“How come?” 

That took Akaashi off guard for a second, not many people asked why he didn’t have a password on his phone. Not many people noticed it to begin with. He considered saying something along the lines of ‘I don’t want one’ but he figured that maybe the truth would help him. “In high school, my boyfriend would enjoy using my phone and playing with it. His worked perfectly fine but he liked mine better. He could never remember what the password was, no matter how simple I made it. After one too many times of him locking my phone I took it off.” 

A smile was pulling at the corners of Akaashi’s lips as he remembered the many times Bokuto had come to him almost in tears because he’d locked his phone for the next however much time. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Anzai was looking at him, but Akaashi didn’t look. He didn’t want to look. Anzai always made him so uncomfortable with his staring. Suddenly he felt the urge to be alone. Without Anzai close, without eyes on him, just alone. He needed to be alone. Away. His eyes flicked from place to place, until it landed on the closed door to his bathroom. He got up, phone in hand. 

“I need to go to the restroom, could you keep an eye on the water? You can pour it and place the tea bags in about 2 minutes.” He went to the bathroom and closed the door after him, not waiting for a response. Feeling claustrophobic. Akaashi rested against the door, he let out a breath and looked at his phone. He had 42 messages now. Screw it. He opened and looked at the messages, there were 42 but there were many short ones or just emoji ones. Bokuto and Hinata were excited to have the day off tomorrow, and Kuroo was telling them to shut up. Typical. 

After he was done when reading them he swiped to look at his messages. 

**Kuro told me to ask what time youre coming tomorrow**

**  
****He also wanted to know if there was a place you wanted to have dinner since hes being lazy and doesnt want to plan his own outing**

 **  
****Do you want to guest appear on my channel**

 **  
****We can play something simple I just dont want to invite Kuro, if you dont want to ask Bo**

Akaashi was surprised to find the messages were from Kenma and not Bokuto. He quickly types out a reply of   
  


**_Bokuto-san and I were planning to be at your apartment around 4:30 so we can have enough time to walk to the theater._ ** **_  
_** **_  
_** **_Tell Kuroo-san not to worry, I’ll look at restaurants when I get home._ ** ****_  
_**_  
_** **_And Kenma, I would be honored to guest appear on your channel._ **

All he got in response was a heart, he smiled at it and sent one back. After that, he read over Bokuto’s messages again just to keep his spirits high. After one last breath, he decided to flush the toilet so it didn’t seem weird if he didn’t and went through the process of washing his hands. He left the restroom and saw as Anzai was stirring one of the cups on the table and set it on his spot, then took the other with him to his own place. 

“Thank you Anzai-san,” he said, sitting back down and stirring the drink to let the heat seep from it a little. He quickly got back to reading the findings and notes that Anzai had written in his binder. He took a drink from his teacup, in the back of his mind he thought it tasted a bit different but just figured Anzai let the teabags in longer than what Bokuto left them in for. 

After a few more minutes of reading, Akaashi got a chill, his whole body bursting into goosebumps followed by a wave of heat that sprung from within him and spread all over him. All within seconds, his stomach felt queasy, his heartbeat sped up, slowly he felt as if he was falling into a dream, his brain slowly mushing and his eyesight losing focus. The more he tried to fight the feeling, the more that this sense of disassociation gripped him. 

He tried to turn his head to let Anzai know something was wrong but he felt his head lull back instead. Slowly as if in slow motion he saw Anzai stand up from his chair, Akaashi opened his mouth to let him know he was feeling weird, that he needed his phone to call Bokuto, but his mouth felt dry, and tongue too big. Noises were coming out of his vocal cords but nothing resembling words. 

“Kaashi? You alright there?” Anzai’s face was suddenly in focus and Akaashi realized how unfocused everything else was. He felt dizzy and like he was going to be sick, his whole vision was slowly tilting, no it wasn’t, his head was the one that was moving. Arms were at his forearms, rubbing up and down and it felt nice. Still, he wanted to move away because it felt wrong. “Come on Akaashi, let's get you more comfortable, you don’t look so well”

Akaashi felt his body being lifted, half dragged to the bed that was only a few meters away, yet felt like miles, his legs barely cooperating, if the person helping him wasn’t there he would never have made it. Once he was on the bed he extended his hand so the person could hand him his phone. He needed to call someone. He needed to call someone. Bokuto. He needed to call Bokuto. Bokuto. Bokuto.

Akaashi felt comfortable though, the pillow below his head was soft. He sighed in relief, he was still cold though. His hands did a two-interval squeeze, telling Bokuto that he wanted a hug, he was cold and Bokuto was always warm and he wanted a hug. Nothing happened, again, open-close-open-close. Hands found his thighs and ran up his body, going under his shirt, they were cold and Akaashi whined. 

The hands didn’t leave though, they explored his stomach, his chest, all the way up to his collarbone, and despite them being cold Akaashi couldn’t help but lean into the hands, they were cold but they were leaving warm streaks in their wake when they returned from their exploration of his collar and went down to his nipples Akaashi moaned. He heard a chuckle on top of him, and he felt a pinch at his nipples, Bokuto usually didn’t do that so early on, he knew they could get overstimulated. “Bokuto-sssaaa”

His whole body was moved then until he was at the center of the bed, nails scratching his sides as hands came up to remove his shirt, Akaashi thinks he let out a hiss at the feeling but he’s not so sure, everything happening too fast for his brain to catch up, He was shirtless and cold on the bed, his hands squeezed twice again. “You’re so hot, you know, you drive me crazy.” 

Akaashi was instantly aware that wasn’t Bokuto’s voice, but when he opened his eyes everything was out of focus and the dizziness came back full force, Akaashi shifted his whole body to the right, trying to get away, but hands gripped his hips and he felt a body grind against his. His mouth opened to let out a moan, it turned into a pant. Heat engulfing him and then a cold chill. 

His hips were lifted and he felt air on his legs as his pants were torn away, he opened them on instinct then tried to close them but there was already a body there stopping him. He was bare, but for his boxer briefs on his bed, the body on top of him leaned down to suck on the place where his neck met his jaw. He arched his back at the sensation and gasped his hands clutching at nothing. “So responsive, that’s it, be a good whore, this is all you’re good for isn’t it? On your back with your legs spread.”

For some reason that hurt, why would Bokuto say that? He tried closing his legs but the body was there and he barely twitched. The lips on his jaw went down to his neck and sucked, and licked and then suddenly bit. Hard. It hurt and Akaashi tried to lift his arms to push Bokuto away, it hurt. Bokuto usually bit his shoulder, not his neck. It hurt. He was letting out some kind of noise, he wasn’t sure what, but it was clearly a protest. 

“Yes, make noise for me, like a good bitch. I want to hear you.” Did Bokuto just call him a bitch? Nails scraped down his sides, sending shivers throughout his body, Akaashi couldn’t breathe, panting to try to keep up. Lips were at his neck again then at his lips, once again biting. In a fit of strength Akaashi raised his arms to push Bokuto away, he was being too aggressive and it was scaring him. 

“No,” he said or he thinks he said, he’s not sure what came out of his mouth. 

“Don’t be like that baby,” the voice was harsh, hands grasping his wrists and pinning them to the bed harshly, squeezing and hurting. “Be nice for me babe,” lips were on his again, and they went down, kissing and sucking and they reached his nipples and they bit down, and Akaashi thinks he let out a scream. He’s not sure. He didn’t want this. Bokuto was scaring him. His mind was foggy. 

“Ple,” his hands closed with his index finger and middle finger sticking out. Two. Two. Yellow. Slow down. Slow down. Yellow. “Pleeesh, I neee, I-I, needddd” I need you to slow down. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll fill you up, I know what a slut like you needs,” His boxers were gone, were they gone before? Everything was starting to blur. One leg was lifted and Akaashi felt cold air rush across his lower body, he felt pain at the odd angle his leg was lifted in, everything was going too fast. He was floating and there was nothing he could hold onto. It was confusing and disorienting.

“Pleeeash, ple, ple,pl pl” He was just repeating the same word over and over. He needed Bokuto to slow down, he needed, he needed. His whole body seized in a kind of convulsion the second Bokuto forced his way in. He only felt pain, pain, pain, it hurt, it hurt. He couldn’t believe Bokuto had really just entered him with minimal to no preparation. It hurt. It hurt so much. He’s pretty sure he screamed, but something was covering his mouth. Akaashi’s whole body felt weak, in pain, he couldn’t fight what was happening. He could just lay there. On his back. With his legs spread. He felt like he was suffocating. 

“So good, you feel so good, squeeze me, yes yes, so good.” Then Bokuto started to move and Akaashi couldn’t breathe, it was too much, it hurt too much, everything was going too fast, there were teeth at his chest biting, hands at his neck squeezing, nails at his sides scratching. Too much. Too much. 

Akaashi made a three with his fingers and tapped the bed 3 times, he’d never had to do that before. Bokuto and he had agreed on non-verbal safewords a long time ago, and he’s not sure he could bring himself to say “cat” right now. He wanted this to stop. Bokuto had never been rough, why was he hurting him now? He hadn’t even checked in with him once. He wanted this to stop. “I wat, I waaaaannnn, I wantttt” 

“Yeah, you want, you need, just like a good whore.” Bokuto said he was good, but it felt wrong and it made Akaashi feel like he was being bad, not good. “A good cunt for me to fuck” Stop. Please. No. Cat. Cat. Cat. Cat. Cat. 

There was too much force, too much speed, too much pain. Akaashi let out a sob, he didn’t realize he was crying. None of this felt good, it was scaring him to his core. He wanted this to stop. Please, make it stop. Make it stop. Please, please, cat. “Peeesh, pesh, peshh” And then the body stilled. 

The body left him, and Akaashi choked on a gasp at the feeling of being empty. But it wasn’t over, there were hands on him and it was still too much. Too much. Please stop. Too much. A hand moving over him, fast and hard. Overstimulating him. He didn’t even know he was going to finish until he did with a scream and a hand over his mouth and a sob, and then his air was being shut off again with a hand on his neck. And then all hands were gone. The body wasn’t on him anymore. Everything was quiet.

Akaashi’s brain was buzzing but there was nothing there. His vision was blurry, his heart was racing, he was on the bed, naked, and cold, and covered in fluids. Scared. He’d never been this scared. He wasn’t sure why. Wasn’t sure what had just happened. Everything felt removed. Numbed. He was rolled on his side, but that was it, the hands did nothing else. He felt a body move behind him and he felt fear claw its way up his sore throat. He heard noises like from a phone, but he was too focused on trying to breathe. 

There was no warm cloth to clean him, no hug, no blanket. Akaashi was out of breath, thirsty, scared. He couldn’t stop crying, and no one was helping him. From his placement on the side of the bed he could see the floor and his small blue penguin smiling at him. He wanted the penguin. With what little strength he had left he reached out but it was too far away. He cried harder at that. He wanted the penguin. He wanted the penguin. Akaashi doesn’t know how long he laid on the bed crying, all he knew is that he was glad when the darkness came for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I was gone for 3 months cuz school hates me, so sorry about that! I have a laptop now! 
> 
> I want to give a special thank you to the following users who commented:  
> ;0, castawait, JJ, catsandspite, Time_traveler210, and Randomgirl14.  
> Your comments gave me life and I love yall so much. 
> 
> Also yes, Akaashi was drugged, I did some digging and I am not sure if I portrayed the drug correctly, um, I took artistic licences on that, not gonna lie. Please don't hate on me if it's wrong.  
> I also want to make it clear, like crystal, Bokuto isn't doing any of this. In Akaashi's confusion and as the drug fogs his thoughts he thinks it would be Bokuto, because who else would he be doing this with right? I hope that makes sense... Sorry if it was confusing.  
> Also. I cried cuz of a penguin. I hate this. That last paragraph broke my heart to write not gonna lie.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! Comments make my day!


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